by Sue Yorston*
Our survey on the use of social media and technology shows it is having an impact on the family and relationships, despite the positive aspects.
A significant majority of the 120 Relationships Australia practitioners who took part in the survey told us that issues relating to social media and technology are cropping up more often in family and relationship counselling sessions.
And 40 per cent of community respondents told us that social media was causing problems in their relationships, largely to do with privacy, time demands and communication.
We conducted the national survey of our practitioners and members of the community in 2011 to determine the impact, both positive and negative, of social media and technology on relationships.
Practitioner survey
The survey shows that about 80 per cent of our practitioners have counselled clients who raised concerns about the impact of Facebook on their relationships.
Seventy two per cent encountered concerns about email and almost 50 per cent dealt with concerns about mobile internet devices and blogs and forums.
Our practitioners say that separating and divorced families often use Facebook, email and mobile phones unconstructively.
Abuse and bullying of previous partners through these methods is a common issue. Guidance is needed to ensure that such contact is less emotional and more business-like and productive.
Adolescent/parent relationships are also being impacted with the need for safety versus privacy.
The practitioners also say that internet pornography, cybersex and online dating and gambling sites continue to cause problems in relationships.
Other commonly cited issues include:
- partners resorting to the use of hidden secret SIM cards and email addresses to maintain infidelities
- online stalking, checking and monitoring of partner’s email, mobile and electronic communication and hacking into ex-partners’ Facebook accounts
- all-consuming user of the internet and technology to the exclusion of one’s partner
- intimacy problems arising from a partner using internet pornography.
Community survey
More than 330 people responded to the online community survey.
The results show that despite the benefits of maintaining relationships with friends and family and reconnecting with people from the past, social media and technology are also increasingly causing relationship problems.
While 52 per cent of community respondents say that social media improves how and how often they communicate, 40 per cent report that it is causing problems. The key issues of concern are:
- privacy, 86%
- time demands, 82%
- changed or impersonal communication style, 81%
- trust, 75%
- safety, 75%
- conflicting priorities, 75%.
A number of common themes have emerged from community respondents.
These include concern over children’s and teenagers’ lack of social skills and neglect of family relationships due to internet use.
Linked with this is concern over personally damaging or detrimental posts made by young people without considering the ramifications.
There is also a dichotomy between social media generating positive feelings of connection versus accentuating feelings of loneliness and creating illusory, false or shallow connection.
Other themes are suspicion over partners’ online activities and connections, including fears of online cheating.
The survey results will be an important input to our plans for services specifically designed around helping people cope with an increasingly connected world.
RAV has been in the relationship support business for more than 60 years; we know a lot about what makes or breaks positive relationships in the real world.
We want to help people manage their relationships in the online world as well, and this survey has helped us to find out more about how social media and technology are changing the way people relate to each other.
* Sue Yorston is RAV’s Manager of Social Inclusion Services.