Post Separation Parenting

The experience of separation and divorce is very complicated and most people find it a difficult and stressful time. There are many angles to consider – legal and financial arrangements being a big feature – but none is more important than what it all means for the children and the best ways of helping them to adjust. Some couples manage to separate without external assistance, but most require information, support and assistance at various levels.

The ‘best interests of the children’ is now the guiding principle of the Family Court. If separating couples wish to avoid the long and costly court process they can use the alternative of Family Dispute Resolution (FDR), formerly called family mediation or divorce mediation. In FDR, the situation of the children is central and the couple are encouraged and supported through the decision-making process to make the most appropriate arrangements. Situations where there has been abuse and violence are treated a bit differently, as safety becomes the main factor.

Apart from FDR, Relationships Australia (Victoria) can also provide assistance through ordinary counselling sessions. Counsellors can support the separating couple in their role as parents to work through the best arrangements for their children. Any emotional conflicts can then be addressed separately from the more technical aspects of FDR.

As well, we offer group work and post separation parenting courses (including some for court-mandated clients). Individual Mums and Dads come together with others in similar situations to share their experiences and learn skills to help them work with their new realities. Skills in shared parenting are a strong feature of the group work.

Find out more about Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) services.

Find out more about Counselling services.

Search for Post Separation Parenting Courses in our list of upcoming Relationship Skills courses.

If you have a background in law, psychology, social work or dispute resolution and you are interested in a career in the expanding FDR field, view our Professional Training.

Booklets

Our booklets can be very helpful as a starting point in this process. They have been developed to provide accessible and useful information and emotional support for those entering this period of complex considerations about the best ways forward.

Download these booklets free:

• Women and Separation (pdf)
• Men and Separation (pdf)
• What about the children? (pdf)

There is also a copy of the booklet “Men & Separation” for migrant men, available in English and Arabic.

• Migrant Men and Separation - English (pdf)
• Migrant Men and Separation - Arabic (pdf)
• Migrant Men and Separation -Vietnamese (pdf)

Parenting plans

A Parenting Plan is a resource to help separating parents work out arrangements for the care of their children. The checklist of questions will help you fill out the Parenting Plan.

• Parenting Plan: "Share the care - Collaborative parenting apart" (pdf)
• Parenting Plan checklist (pdf)

This brochure explains the value of consulting your children during the family dispute resolution process.

• Hearing your Child's Voice  in family dispute resolution (pdf)

Further resources

The Child Support Agency publishes the following free resources:

• Me and My Money (pdf) - information booklet for separated parents
• Family Separation: a Guide for Teens – website with information for teens going through separation.